Is my best good enough

Have you ever looked around and your family, your friends, those people you love the most and wonder if you are doing the best you can for them? Are you making the most of your time, your endeavors, your acts of kindness or teaching toward them?

I sometimes wonder if what I am telling my children makes sense. Am I really making a meaningful change within their lives on a daily basis. My ROI may not be seen immediately. It could days, weeks, months, but more often than not it will be years to see if what I attempted to instill is resting in their heads, being used on a daily basis. What if I said the wrong thing when Em fell and had her heart broken. What if my poor example of relationships (at times) leads her down a path of distrust and pain. What if I didn't listen enough to Ty when he has questions and needs my support. Am I being too hard on them? Am I being too easy on them? Did they brush their teeth, put on clean underwear, take a shower today? Did I do my best to ensure they feel safe; did I do my best today to ensure they feel loved every moment I was around, and when I wasn't?

In my relationships, I have always been the person who gave more...or so I feel. I am a romantic at heart. I love being with someone who wants me to take care of them, who allows themselves to be vulnerable in my presence, realizing that this allows me to see who they are, their heart, their soul. I enjoy hearing the other person share their experiences, thoughts, dreams, accomplishments. I appreciate someone who is intelligent, and creates that great sense of wonder within me to discover more. This scenario I just described has not always been the case. I am that person who sends random cards to the person I am seeing now, just to remind him I am thinking of him, and want him to feel he is important, valued, missed when we are not near each other. I don't have to do this, I am not asked to do this - I do this because I know it will make him smile. Are my calls, texts, or IMs enough for him with regard to communication during the day? Do I listen to what he is saying without trying to figure out what I want to say next? Is this good enough? Does he feel my heart through the words I write, know my intentions are only from a place of joy? Do I provide a safe place for him to feel free to be himself, knowing I will still enjoy his company?

My friends and family are the utmost important connection in my life. I try to put their needs in front of my own if they are hurting, celebrating, or in need of a laugh. I don't show up empty handed at Christmas or birthdays; I am the happiest person giving someone a small trinket to show my appreciation. I tell my parents each time I see them, talk to them on the phone, or email them that I love them. I tell my brothers each time that I love them, and they are important to me. I share my thoughts of gratitude with my ex-in-laws as often as I can because I am so thankful to share my life with them, to have them share their life with me. Is this good enough? Do my friends and family know they are important to me not because of who they are, but because of what they bring to my life?

Is my best good enough for those with whom I love, take care of, and share my life with? The only thing I can do is attempt to do better than my best on a regular basis I suppose. Similar to the ROI with what I tell my children, family and friends may also have an undetermined length of time to determine this.