I recently encountered this when supporting a team in the NCAA basketball playoffs. I was supporting UConn due to the relationship I was in, but also because I really started to enjoy watching this group of men playing ball. I was told by others that I shouldn't support the team, I knew nothing about the team other than my boyfriend was supporting them. These comments were met with "Why wouldn't I support what he enjoys? Isn't that what you do when you are in a relationship - you support each other?" I was so upset that my intentions would even be questioned when they were coming out of a place of love, of desire to see the person I was with be filled with happiness. Silly - allowing a sport to make me feel so defensive, but as a friend, I have done this time and time again for those I care about.
To me, you support your family, your friends, those you love and care about. You support them when they may not know how to believe in themselves...you encourage them, take an interest in them, and let them know you are on their side. You may not always agree with their decisions, but rising above that to support their accomplishments is far more important. You may not always appreciate with their interests the way you do your own, but finding the time to show your support means a world of difference to those in your life.
I have done this in many different arenas and avenues in my life. I am not perfect, though, and definitely do not feel I am so much better than others...I just appreciate how it feels when someone supports me. I appreciate when someone says to me "I know nothing about this, but I am here for you." I appreciate when someone takes the time to learn about something I have an interest in rather than bash it. Or, on the flip side, I appreciate when they take the time to learn about it, support it, and let me know they support me.
I learned this once from an ex-boyfriend, and baseball. My teams are the Angels first, then the Red Sox. I enjoy watching some other teams, but those are the teams I truly watch, want to succeed. The problem with having these as my favorite teams is that they are both American League teams, and if they both make any type of play-off series, chances are they are playing against one another. My ex-boyfriend was a Red Sox fan. And there was one playoff season where the Angels actually won against the Red Sox...quite a feat. We were not together during this time, having broken up months before. I received a text message saying congratulations on the Angels continuing in the series race to the World Series...there was no sarcasm, no hint of ridicule. Just the genuine feeling of knowing it was important to me, and while he could have not texted me at all, he took the time. That is what I feel is important...that level of support...
Take a few moments each day to learn something more about those in your life. Parents should encourage their children on their aspirations. Husbands and wives should participate in activities that may not be of their interest, but mean the world to their spouse or significant other. Friends should adopt a policy of understanding and desire to encourage each other in their pursuits. Listening to those in your life, allowing your walls to break down, learning more about endeavors beyond our own hands and minds could change our world for the better.
If we do not support one another, why are we surprised when there is no one there to support us when we fall? Isn't that the essence of being a family? Isn't that the essence of friendship? Isn't that the essence of love - isn't that the essence of what we desire, but fear to show the most? Why do we so often choose our self-interest over the interests of those we care about? Our world would be a kinder, gentler place to live if we all would take the time to support one another, to learn about each other, and love each other for who we are, and what we like, rather than feel the need to become abrasive due to a minor difference of opinion. We all only have this life to live, why not embrace it with kindness, understanding, and a helping hand.
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