Tug of war for my heart

I am wondering just how long it takes for me to understand when I need to back off, release, let go, and walk away...how long will I remain in the constant tug of war for my heart and head to match.

This has been a struggle since day one.  I am not one who likes to admit defeat, but at the same time, I also seem to hold on longer than is necessary.  Recently I have made decisions that have been directly related to holding on, and finally...FINALLY...I let go.  But there are ten million other situations in my life that should require this same attention to detail...when am I going to let go?  When am I going to stand up for myself in some way, start asking questions about where things remain, and what I need to do in order to move forward?

I have become better at backing off, but the releasing is where I have the biggest issues, along with letting go.  It is so easy to say "Let go, and let God" to another, but quite different if this is the message you must follow yourself.  Certain things within my life at this moment are focused around this thought process.  If I let go, and things fall apart, do I suffer because I had the faith things would prevail, or do I suffer because I didn't have enough faith?  And in terms of faith, when is faith without action verses faith with action required?

I am a firm believer in faith with action.  I consistently pray for certain areas in my life where I feel I need the most direction.  And I have the faith things will proceed as they need.  In my faith, I do random acts of kindness, express my feelings, and attempt to do the best I can for actions toward my own personal happy ending.  In performing these actions, am I prolonging the inevitable?  Am I forcing a situation based on my own misguided attempt to help myself?  Certainly I am not alone in this thought process.

I have learned in my life that some things are not meant to be.  No matter what length of time you spend, amount of prayer and attention given, or amount of faith you may have, if things were not meant to be they will eventually end.  And in this, it seems most everything I have wanted has ended this way.  Do I mourn the situation I wished for, or do I praise in hind-sight, realizing the reason things fell apart was due to a bigger and better horizon yet to come?  Maybe once I learn the answers to those questions, I will be able to better determine when it is time to let go, and move on.