Contradictions are beautiful

Contradictions...we all see them every day.

We see this in media, our family, friends, ourselves. Contradiction by definition is opposition between two conflicting forces or ideas. But within those contradictions, what is it about them that may be found beautiful? And why, if it is opposition, do we all possess them?

I am filled with contradictions. Some big, some small. Some noticeable, others are only known to me. I know it is not always the best thing to admit to this...like it is a personality flaw. In learning more about myself, in learning to like myself, in learning to enjoy me being me, I must learn to appreciate everything. Changes can be made, but until you know your own contradictions, how do you even start this attempt toward change?

What are my contradictions? What offenses do I offer to this rambling? I look at contradiction not as opposition, but rather a balancing act. We all have something we must balance in life. Some balance work, raising children, becoming independent, being alone, or being in a difficult situation.

1. I want to be seen as beautiful, but don't want to be judged by my looks
2. I don't want to grow old, but can't wait to sit on a porch swing at the age of 80 next to the man I love
3. I want to have doors opened for me, but don't want to have doors opened only because I am a female.
4. I want nothing more than to be in love again, but fear being in love if I am going to be hurt once more
5. I want to sometimes talk about my fears or problems, but don't want someone to solve my problems.
6. I do not feel my being a single parent or having children define who I am, but I do feel having children makes me who I am at times.
7. I love sleeping when it is chilly in the room, and I am forced to cuddle up under blankets. But I hate being in the cold, snow, or AC when awake.
8. I can appreciate a beautiful sunset, but would rather be awake early enough to see the sun rise.
9. I loathe McDonalds and don't eat fish or seafood, but I will crave a Filet O'Fish sandwich, and eat salmon.
10. I can talk for hours to a complete stranger about politics or religion, but have a hard time talking to someone I have developed a crush on.
11. I hate being late, but am often running 5 minutes behind when going to church.
12. There is nothing more annoying than sitting on the side lines, but this is where I feel most comfortable at times in new situations.
13. I love relaxing and not worrying about my time, but when sitting around and relaxing I have to keep moving.
14. I hate to sleep in, but I hate going to sleep at night
15. My favorite color to wear is black, but can't typically sleep in any other color than white

Contradictions are more than having opposition. To me, they define someones middle being. They are important in realizing the true essence of a person; they can be a reflection of their soul. We are complicated as humans, and even more complicated if we have ever felt emotion. Our pain has led to contradiction. Pain allows us to view that contradiction of life, especially in a pain of love lost. We are able to feel the immense joy of having that love, but also the intense sorrow once the love has been lost, or is gone. Happiness can lead to contradiction if we go through the same experience twice, and due to expectation do not feel that same level of happiness.
Embracing your contradictions allow you to be more open about yourself. There is nothing to fear about your contradictions...they only offer a greater window to your internal being. Opposition allows a greater understanding, and with understanding comes knowledge. With knowledge comes a powerful realization for discovering that beauty we all possess.