365 Days

It is amazing the events that can unfold within the span of 365 days.  Seasons change, people are both entering the world into new lives and exiting the world when their time expires.  Jobs may change, locations of where you may live, friends you were once close with are now distant, and new friends come into your life and help you move forward.  Interests, desires, challenges, and dreams may all be vastly different within this time frame, each moment we experience shaping our thoughts.

If you were to ask me 365 days ago where I thought I would be today, my answer would not have been anything close to where I actually am.  Ignorance is sometimes bliss, but experience can sometimes bring more tears than you expected.  I was excited about the future, excited to see where the road was taking me, and willing to try a path I had not taken before.  I was open to different ideas, open to different experiences.  I was able to feel daring, feel spontaneous. I felt I was given a new chance at something great, and I was not going to let it pass me by.

Little did I know that regardless of my personal attempts, the 364 days that would follow be filled with absolute joy coupled with and followed by feeling I failed myself and those around me.  Feeling I was special, I was important, I was cared about quickly turned to feelings that I must be damaged; somehow there is something lacking within me to be where I am again.

So here is to you, 365.  I wish you brought more smiles to my face, than tears that escape from my eyes.  I wish you brought more moments to be shared instead of rehashing and remembering moments that occurred.  I wish the next 365 are better than the past few months have offered.