This just in...

There are many times in my life when I wished I was either deaf or mute. Sometimes, both. Not because I wish to never talk again, or never hear again. Simply because there are times in my life when I wish I didn't speak up, or open my mouth. Other times I wish I didn't have to listen to what someone is telling me.

I am learning that what I say about others is a clear reflection of how others may also look at me, or see me. I am learning that if someone says negative things about another person, or people; if they talk in a discouraging way about others they call friends, chances are they are also doing this with me, and about me. This is an issue that has always reared it's ugly head since I was in junior high, and the older I get it does not seem to go away. I will admit there have been times when I have done this. I may have been upset about something and needed to get it off my chest to someone, anyone, before I exploded with feelings. But this action never seems to do anyone any good, mostly myself.

Something else I learned, am still learning, and will probably continue to learn. Those who talk about their other friends in a discouraging way are probably talking about you to those other friends in the same way. It does not take courage to talk about someone else negatively. It is very easy to get caught in that trap, and continue the trend for long periods of time. Same thing goes for secrets you may share with someone who tells you another person's secrets so freely. It is not curiosity that killed the cat. It is sheer lack of keeping your mouth shut that will cause hurt to someone else. As you are listening to someone tell you these things, ask yourself if the situation were reversed, and the person was telling someone else about your pains, issues, deepest feelings, would you want this to be light conversation between others?

We all need to share our feelings. We all need to express our fears to someone in a safe environment. We do not assume it will be seen as gossip fodder for others. Be mindful of how you share your information, and who you share that with. Be mindful of who you are talking about, and how you are talking about them. There may be a day that the shoe is on the other foot, and somehow people know more than they should. No one likes their lives, the personal moments they let you into, to be common knowledge for others.