Today, like so many other days, I had to say goodbye to someone I hate saying goodbye to. It wasn't a "forever" goodbye (in a lame childish tone) where I was upset, or happy to see him walk away. It wasn't a death where I will never see him again. It was another goodbye, in an airport, watching him walk through the security gates, and off to his home.
I am familiar with goodbyes. Since I am dating someone who lives in a different city, it is par for the course. Something that has happened about every three weeks with one of us walking through the gates and off to the skies, homeward bound. Each time does not get easier, and if it did I would worry why I wasn't worried about his safe travels, his safe return to his home 2,500 miles away. But each time it reminds me of why it is so hard. Let me preface by saying that, at least in this turn, I will see him again in 4 days, 10 hours, 29 minutes (but who is counting). The reason it is so hard is due to the emotion I feel, the wonderful approach to relaxing I have while around him.
The hardest part of saying goodbye is walking away, knowing when I arrive at home I will be without him by my side. The hardest part of saying goodbye is knowing I won't see his smile for a few days, weeks, or heaven forbid - a month of longer. The hardest part of saying goodbye is not feeling his touch, feeling his hand hold mine. The hardest part of saying goodbye is not hearing his voice, and seeing his lips speak at the same time. The hardest part of saying goodbye is knowing I will face tomorrow morning without him as a part of my regular daily interaction. The hardest part of saying goodbye is knowing tomorrow will only be another day we are apart. The hardest part of saying goodbye is all the small things that add up to the person I am with, wanting to just be near him for longer than a few days.
I know part of the long distance is being patient. Patience, along with a high regard for the other person, a level of trust and respect that is there in any relationship, but needed at a higher level of sensitivity. The need for honesty, candor, and openness is at a higher level. The time spent with one another is to be a retreat, a gift, a desired destination. I feel very fortunate to have this time to really get to know him, share things with him that may not otherwise be shared if we were in close proximity. We don't have a Saturday routine of doing something together, but we do have a routine of calling each other throughout our day, of talking before we fall asleep, and of sharing moments of intimacy for thoughts shared with no one else. I am willing to wait until I see him again; willing to be patient while we are getting to know one another, willing to travel to see him. I am willing because I believe he is worth the wait. He is worth the moments of separation for the moments of being together.
I am familiar with goodbyes. Since I am dating someone who lives in a different city, it is par for the course. Something that has happened about every three weeks with one of us walking through the gates and off to the skies, homeward bound. Each time does not get easier, and if it did I would worry why I wasn't worried about his safe travels, his safe return to his home 2,500 miles away. But each time it reminds me of why it is so hard. Let me preface by saying that, at least in this turn, I will see him again in 4 days, 10 hours, 29 minutes (but who is counting). The reason it is so hard is due to the emotion I feel, the wonderful approach to relaxing I have while around him.
The hardest part of saying goodbye is walking away, knowing when I arrive at home I will be without him by my side. The hardest part of saying goodbye is knowing I won't see his smile for a few days, weeks, or heaven forbid - a month of longer. The hardest part of saying goodbye is not feeling his touch, feeling his hand hold mine. The hardest part of saying goodbye is not hearing his voice, and seeing his lips speak at the same time. The hardest part of saying goodbye is knowing I will face tomorrow morning without him as a part of my regular daily interaction. The hardest part of saying goodbye is knowing tomorrow will only be another day we are apart. The hardest part of saying goodbye is all the small things that add up to the person I am with, wanting to just be near him for longer than a few days.
I know part of the long distance is being patient. Patience, along with a high regard for the other person, a level of trust and respect that is there in any relationship, but needed at a higher level of sensitivity. The need for honesty, candor, and openness is at a higher level. The time spent with one another is to be a retreat, a gift, a desired destination. I feel very fortunate to have this time to really get to know him, share things with him that may not otherwise be shared if we were in close proximity. We don't have a Saturday routine of doing something together, but we do have a routine of calling each other throughout our day, of talking before we fall asleep, and of sharing moments of intimacy for thoughts shared with no one else. I am willing to wait until I see him again; willing to be patient while we are getting to know one another, willing to travel to see him. I am willing because I believe he is worth the wait. He is worth the moments of separation for the moments of being together.
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