If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.
But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.
~Author Unknown
It is one of the greatest gifts we can offer another person - our gift of friendship. This is not for the faint of heart, however. True friendship requires work, patience, love, celebration, compassion, and forgiveness at all times. It is not a one way street we travel in the pursuit of friendship, rather a bustling highway of exchanges, on and off ramps, and always respect for those we choose to call our friends.
Friendship is the opportunity for us to learn about ourselves through someone else's eyes, ears, and heart. It is the opportunity to seek out advise when needed, an embrace when required, and to share our thoughts, dreams, ideas, and fears with someone we entrust with our hearts. We do not surround ourselves with those we would not want to be like; we, instead, choose our friends based on what we would like to be, what we appreciate, and what we find lovely. The sum of what friendship should contain would always include the need to share, the need to love, and the need to accept regardless of the circumstance at hand.
In friendship, we offer our biggest commodity known to us - the commodity of our time.
Friendships require a different approach to life than other relationships we may form throughout our years on this planet. While our relationships with families may seem, at times, to be out of obligation, our friendships are there by our pure desire to know someone else.
Growing up, I was the only daughter/sister in my household. My three brothers had each other to learn from, to form a bond with, and to establish guidelines of play, rough-housing, and social interaction with. They were friends from birth, at points they were each other's biggest enemies. Not having this union of sorts with a sister, I searched for this from outside sources. While my mother was a wonderful mother, she was not my friend, not going through the same experiences as I was going through, and needed to be my mother. Due to this, I found friends to fill the void of sistership.
I have looked at my friends as sisters throughout the years. From the earliest times I can remember in elementary school, I have been blessed with friends who not only have accepted me for who I was, but also offered a glimpse of their hearts to learn from. My oldest friends are those with whom I can call after several months of busy days, and not miss a beat in conversation. There is no apologies for not calling - we recognize that the world does not revolve around when or how often we talk; it revolves around the desire to maintain contact as time passes. These are the people who would not bat an eye if I called in the middle of the night if some terrible event has occurred in my own life, and in return I would not bat an eye if they called. These are the people I call first if something wonderful has happened to share my news.
I am blessed to have my friends/sisters to include Arin, Krista, and Jessica that I only know due to my marriage, and divorce. I am blessed to have witnessed them growing up from teen-aged girls excited to get their driver's licenses to seeing them become mothers, wives, and successful individuals each in their own right.
I am blessed to have friends from high school who witnessed my bad clothing decisions, boy heartbreaks, awkward growing up moments, bad haircuts, and goofy silliness. I feel so lucky to remember our times before we were worried about everything that we worry about now...when things were simpler, and talking on the phone for hours was the most important aspect of our friendships even though we had seen each other all day at school.
My friends have been there for me every step of the way. Holding my hand if I was scared, offering me forgiveness if I made a mistake, sharing moments of graduations, weddings, births of children, even divorce and the willingness to help me pick up the pieces of my life. They have rarely turned me away if I was in need of help, and never forgot to offer words of encouragement when I felt my world was crashing around me. They have offered the most valuable commodity of not just their time, but also their hearts. And while I always feel I fall short on what I can offer, I never have been alone.
To all those I call friend, or sister, I love you and would not be the same person I am today without your influence, without your kindness, and without your love. I hope you always feel my gratefulness to all you have given me, regardless if we have known each other 1 year, or 23 years.
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