As everyone else does, I have these items. They are not actually items, but people within my life that I am not willing to give up simply because I have someone new in my life. They are the people who have been with me, thick or thin; the people who would be there for me regardless of the hour, and have outlasted many others in my life. So, for someone to start a relationship, whether dating or serious, you must realize and accept them. If not, I will be okay without you in my life; after all, I have managed this long without you, and will be able to carry on regardless. I may still be learning to be independent, but I will withstand the test of time like an old American flag on the Fourth of July.
My kids
As a single parent, I come with more responsibility, more bodies, and hopefully, more excitement. I have two children...I cannot erase the fact that they will come first in my life. If you do not like children, please do not ask me out. If we are together, and you don't want to date me, don't use my kids as your excuse out of the relationship.
My family
As with my children, I have a rather large extended family. My ex-husband's family is still my family. We do things together, love each other, miss each other, and regardless of what is going on, we support each other. My sisters-in-law are not in-laws at all; they are my sisters. My brothers-in-law are much more than in-laws; they are some of the best men I have ever met. My mother-in-law has held my hand when having a hard time, held me when I needed a hug, and wiped away my tears more than I can count. My father-in-law has encouraged me to strive for excellence and often tries to find a date for me. They are some of the strongest support beams within my structure of life.
I also have my own parents, three brothers, and sister-in-law. Our family is sarcastic at times, loving at others, and in the end, we are there for one another.
My ex-boyfriend, John
Similar to the in-laws, John is my family. Yes, we were together; we are now not together. He has been there for me in moments of great weakness, great happiness, supports me in my decisions, and helps me with my children in ways that my ex-husband has sometimes been unable to do. He is always making sure the kids are doing well in school, listening to them, offering advise.
My friends
I am a girl who was raised the oldest of 4 children. Those other children were boys. As a girl, growing up in a house of guys, I learned how to relate better with men. I have more male friends than female friends. I relate better to them, and trust them more than I do most the females in my life. I am not flirting with, sleeping with, or attempting to have a relationship with them. I have listened to every dirty detail of their dating lives, seen them through difficult times, and they have been that shoulder to cry on when my own relationships are struggling. I have one guy friend who recently saw me holding my guy's hand; he sent me a text message telling me how strange it was. He told me he doesn't think of me as a female, and it was weird for him seeing me be so girly since I am his buddy, one of the guys. I am not willing to change this aspect of myself to suite someone who wants to be with me.
It isn't that I don't have female friends, because I do have a few; my best friends are my sisters-in-law and Stephanie. But over the years I just found females to be a bit more on the dramatic side than I care to deal with. I really don't want to even get into the methods of backstabbing, gossiping, and competition I have encountered along the way.
These may seem like hard things to overcome. Really, the sentiment goes both ways with my acceptance of your past, all you have experienced before, and the people who enrich your life. But in the game of love, or the playing field of liking someone, I would rather be upfront than have you feeling like I deceived you in any way, shape, or form.
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