Don't give up

I remember what that felt like, being told "I love you". I heard it the day we broke up. "Of course I still love you..." Not quite the same as when you would say this to me on a daily basis. But, this is what I am holding onto.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me. You used to be so silly in telling me. You would get this big grin on your face, smiling ear to ear. That glint in your eyes of joy. Not happiness, but pure joy. And that face gave me the encouragement, the feeling I could do ANYTHING. I could climb the highest mountains, set sail on any treacherous sea, reach and touch the stars in the moonlit evening sky. It gave me peace when all around seemed difficult. It gave me a feeling of being embraced if we were apart.

One day I hope to hear those words again. I hope to hear those words when I am afraid, when I feel all is lost. I hope to hear those words on my wedding day, and hear those words when I am old with a head full of white hair. I hope to hear those words when I take my last breath. I still hold out hope for us. I still hold out hope that the Lord will bring us together again. I still believe in us, even if you have stopped your pursuit of the same belief.

Yesterday it was a poem that made up my general feelings. The song by Sanctus Real, "Don't Give Up" sums the feelings of today. I am struggling with your words still ringing in my ears, in my heart, in my mind. I am still struggling to think that our lives are no longer meshed together as they should be. But, the key phrase is should be. I still think I will wake up, have you next to me on this voyage of life. I still think we will spend the day together, or receive a message saying "Good morning Sunshine." There is no sunshine in my heart now,as it is broken and at best a tumultuous storm. My head my be able to hear you are gone, but my heart doesn't understand the separation.

Don't Give Up

I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
Now you complain a lifetime just doesn't feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up

Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?

Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain
Don't give up on love and throw it all away

I heard you say you can't change a stubborn heart
I can relate 'cause that's how I feel when I talk with you

Why should it take losing everything
to realize it might be time to change?

Your restless heart won't win 'cause you take but you don't give
And you'll keep moving on until you learn what love is

Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
Don't give up on love