Liars

What bothers me is not that you lied; it is that you took the time to lie in the first place.

Here is the thing - we all lie.  It is in our nature to lie starting with Adam and Eve.  It may be unintentional, by gossip, or by wanting to not hurt someone.  A lie can be as simple as avoiding a situation by saying you have something else to do, to omitting the key parts of a story, all the way up to just staring at someone, looking them straight in the eyes, and telling them some fabrication that you think is justified...

It isn't the lying, the omission, or the avoidance that hurts...it is that someone has actually taken the time to think about what they would say to you, told you, then hoped you would believe them...

...and I, for one, am tired of being lied to.  Here is the other thing; most people will accept the lies rather than face the truth. They would rather live in the land of "Ignorance is bliss" than face reality.  Once faced with the reality they are even more hurt due to all the signs being there the whole time, and the excuses or reasonable doubt given now become part of the lie originally told.

I am not sure what makes someone feel like lying is ever the best option, either.  Sure, you are trying to avoid an argument, or trying to not hurt someone else's feelings.  That is what you say.  But did you ever stop to consider how that person will feel once they learn of your misdeeds?  Do you not realize that eventually, and most likely sooner than later, all lies come into the forefront, and then what?  Once that level of deception unravels, what is next?  Do you tell the person you are sorry?  Do you explain yourself away in hopes of alleviating further damage?  Oh, I know - you lie some more to cover your tracks... you think the more you cover it up, the better it will be, and the longer it will take before the truth may come out.  But that is never the case.  

There is a song that always reminds me of this, called "Over my head", by The Fray.  The lyrics describe this so perfectly:

"I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth"

It is not just the person who takes the time to lie, but others who may know more, but don't bother to tell you.  Those that know more, and when asked avoid the issue.  It is not their fight to fight may be their thinking.  And, they are right. It is not their place to have to explain something.  But they also run the risk of being guilty by association, and sometimes in covering someone else's lie, it also becomes yours.  If you don't want to be associated with the behavior, don't accept the responsibility of falsehood due to allegiance. 

I am not saying that I have been perfect, and never said something just to make someone else feel better.  I am not saying I have not omitted something to save face.  I have just learned after being lied to that it doesn't do any good.  If I don't want to do something, I will tell you.  If I don't like something, I will let you know.  If I say I will do something, like something, want to try something - it is genuinely because I want to do it and not in hopes of being nice to you.  I see no reason to prolong the inevitable simply because I am trying to avoid an issue. 

Respect me.  I don't want to be lied to.  You may need to break it to me gently, but still break it to me.  Don't make me question my own thoughts or beliefs, don't allow me to continue in the land of ignorance.  Let me know so that I can move on, get over it, and heal from what has occurred.  Because, as I previously mentioned, I will eventually find out, and once I do, I will not have any more respect for you.  And along with the lack of respect also will come the need to exorcise you and every part of you from my life. But then, maybe that doesn't bother you considering you felt the need to disrespect me and lie in the first place.