Having one of those months

Ever had one of those days where you feel your hair is on fire, you are running late, and nothing seems to come together as it should? Maybe you did, in fact, wake up late, burned your hair with a blow dryer or flat iron, and lost your keys at some point and are now turning over your entire house to find them just to leave the house.

This has been my January. Not that it has necessarily been all bad. There have been some bright moments within the month.  But I have felt like I am running on a tread mill - going fast, but still not seeing any new scenery.  And when this happens, I begin to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and generally grumpy.  I need that down time to do what I need to do for me before I can tackle the problems of everyone else.  As I have learned, my attempts to bare the weight of others if I am not strong only proves to be suffocating in the long run.

Since the beginning of the new year I am trying to procure areas I feel I am doing well, increasing my attention to detail. Those areas that bring me the most joy, and in return, the greatest blessings.  I am always working on telling those in my life I love them, how grateful I am for them.  When I can, I let them know they are doing a good job, and that I am proud of all their efforts in whatever they are attempting to achieve.  This year has brought much good news for those I love, and I feel it is important to celebrate them as they should be celebrated.

I have thought long and hard of how to improve my life in areas since the beginning of the new year I feel I am doing less than my best.  I have made some big decisions in this time period.  Decisions that are based on years of struggle, and rather than continue in the race I have decided to surrender.  My white flag has been raised.

For the areas I am struggling, or have surrendered, I am resting all my faith in the Lord.  There is little I can do for improvements past what has been done.  I am trying to release all my frustrations, pain, and difficulties into the hands of Heavenly Father because I cannot do this on my own.  As I have so often learned in the past - trusting in Him is the only thing that matters at the end of the day.  Through any type of turmoil, issue, or general difficulty, He is the one always standing beside me, reaching His hand out to hold me as His child, and comfort me in a way no one else can do.  He is the one constant I have, and the One who loves me regardless of anything I may do.  For every day I feel anxious, He is the one I talk to first to vent, to praise, to ask questions, and to seek guidance.  For this, I am blessed beyond measure.