Finding trust in an distrusting world

Finding trust in an distrusting world...how unimaginable is it for us to relinquish all power to another person based on faith.

Trust is the reliance upon something or someone else. The sheer essence of believing that thing or person will have enough in their own character or ability to excel. It is a combination of faith and action. We may find trust in our faith, in our parents, family, friends. We may find trust in the knowledge or previous experiences of others. But why do we find this trust? What is it that as a human being I desire trust, need trust, rely upon trust?

I believe we are all children, regardless of our height, in the eyes of someone. We are always children to our parents, and regardless of our ages our parents always worry and love us the same as when we were an infant, a child, a teen. Circumstances for worry may change, but it is always there. We are all children in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.

I am a trusting person in general, but often times it is a reward or bi-product of circumstance. I am willing to trust someone else based on actions I have witnessed. I trust in my faith based on miracles from previous times described in the Bible, and the miracles I have witnessed within my own life. It is not always easy to trust someone else. The world is full of hatred, and sometimes it may feel easier to succumb to distrust over trust. I think I can trust with apprehension first, until there is a clear vision or reaction to another person's actions.

Growing up, I trusted my parents, as any child does. I looked at my father as the most wise man, my mother as the strongest woman alive. They demonstrated constant care of my needs, and the needs of my brothers. Growing into my teen years, I began to not trust them quite as much. My father was always there, offering support to a girl who was self-conscious, awkward, and clumsy. He would listen to my fears, my thoughts, my ideas, my complaints. Leaving for college, and feeling displaced in the world, he was there to always lift me up. It was so hard being separated from him I remember not being able to even carry a conversation with him over the phone due to feeling he would disappear after we hung up the phone. My mother and I had a different relationship. Our relationship was always strained in some way. I was a girl, the only girl, and the oldest. She trusted me to make the best decisions, to be the prominent example to my younger brothers, in school, friends, clothing, boys, work, etc. I unfortunately let her down time after time. Her ultimate display for lack of trust came when she read my journal when I was 17 - my private thoughts, my private dreams, my inner circle to who I was. It took me quite a while to trust in my ability to pen my thoughts to paper without fear of her reading them. But, once I left home I realized it was not lack of trust in me. It was ultimate love, and wanting the best for me. When you can look at everything your parents told you as a kid, and realize they were actually right - you tend to have a different view on the situation in hind sight.

I have other family that provides that comfort of trust. My family, next to faith, is the highest importance to me. And while my family is a mixture of individuals bonded by blood, marriage, friendship, they are all incredible people I am blessed to have in my life. To allow someone to care for my children, to take care of their needs in my absence, and make decisions that could alter how my children view that moment, or the rest of their lives, is powerful in action and testament.

I have trusted in my faith for as long as I remember. Whenever I am afraid, I know I can pray for comfort. Whenever I feel the world is a battle front, I pray for peace. If I feel lost, I know I can pray for direction. I have prayed so many prays, and had so many prayers answered. They may not have always been answered as I wanted them to be, but they were always answered. Everything from feeling scared as a kid when I was locked out of the house, to my most recent prayers...I feel fortunate to always have this relationship of trust in my life. It is where I find the most trust, and where I feel the most comfort. It is my refuge from the storms that surround me in life.

Recently, my trust has been very guarded. I have felt there are limited individuals I can truly call upon in the middle of the night should I stumble and need help. That is an awful, gut-wrenching feeling to allow someone into your chaos, your irrational thoughts, or actions. I have had to rely upon trust to help me survive distance in geography or time. My trust does not waiver, nor does it change. Levels of trust can increase or decrease, but it is on both parties to maintain that trust. Finding trust in an distrusting world is more than good actions being rewarded; it is also in the care and thought put into your actions. It is more than belief someone will be there; it is also in the level of being there that matters. Just as an infant trusts in their parents, we should never forget that essence of trust beyond reason, and demonstrate our own trust with others in our actions, thoughts, deeds, care, and love.