"Sometimes, all you wish for is someone to wish for you..."
My friend once had this posted as her status on facebook; I thought it was brilliant. 11 little words that, when put together, expressed everything within my heart. 11 little words that summed up my emotional tug of war with the heart in wanting to appear strong, appear independent.
How many times have I thought this very same statement? I am not someone who has dated very much. Ironic, since I have always had longer relationships. I have been blessed with the fortune of relationships that ended, but friendships (for the most part) that have remained in tact. I have been blessed for each time my heart broke to learn more about who I am, what I need, what I desire. Usually it is the other person who walks away due to my stubborn quality. Even with that stubborn quality, I fully am able to see I am better for having known the person, having spent time with them. I am better for allowing my heart to be vulnerable, to feel, to express emotion. It may not have lasted, but my return on investment with who I am has always grown.
I am not sure how the relationship gods really work. Sometimes they give you this wonderful person who enters for only a short amount of time. In my way of thinking, why spend so much time with the frogs if you can just meet the prince in the first place? But, I guess if I never met frogs, I wouldn't know the prince when he is standing before me. Those short amounts of time, whether it be years or weeks, so hard in the meantime, but remembered lightly once over.
Other times they give you THAT person; the person who will look at me with wonderment, who holds my hand when I am growing old, doesn't mind my white hair growing in more frequently. That person who finds me endearing, and knows I have flaws but loves me in spite of them. That person who gives me encouragement when I am in need of strength I am not able to obtain. That person who wishes to be with me when I am not around, and can't imagine a life without me.
It is not just the wishing for someone, it is the being with someone that makes things so wonderful when found. That ability to express your heart without fear. That ability to be yourself when feeling silly, or able to hold you when you cry. That ability to just stay with you, never waiver from their feelings, when the world seems to be crashing down. That amazing quality that yesterday was great, tomorrow may be fantastic, but the moment you are both in is amazing. That feeling of being worth their time, cherished, and in awe that you met in the first place.
I am sure wishing and dreaming is a factor for being human. I am sure without the wish, the dream, we would not have enough imagination to actually follow our dreams. I am sure that beyond what the fairy tale books may say, each one of us is able to have our happily ever after if we allow our hearts to believe once more. I maintain these thoughts, dreams, wishes. "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." should just be my new anthem.
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