I'm free to be what I want

"I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
Muhammad Ali

I have often wondered if offered the chance to see how everything in life will play out, would I take it. Would I want to know all the happiness, joy, pain, suffering, and struggles I must endure before my time here is through, what would I do? Would I be able to avoid danger or pain that awaits me? And in avoidance, would I miss out on some type of happiness or joy? Would this change my freedom of choice? Would this lead me to greater quality of life, or squander my thought process.

At this very moment, I have ultimate freedom of choice. There is no predetermined or predestined path before me. I can choose to turn left or right when coming to that great big fork in the road...I can follow the herd or forge my own path. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, only a bright horizon in front. Would knowing the future lead me to that loss of choice?

At any one period of time within our lives we may wish to know what will happen next. It is the unknown of what may happen that can cause a person to feel doubtful about the future. The past is behind us, and while we may quietly visit in dreams, in memories, in recollections, we can never erase events. We can only move forward, press on, and seek out the best possible solutions for problems we may be having, seek out the best possible joy to fill our lives with. We all have the power of truth within us to determine where we are going. We all have the power of self to make our own destiny regardless of our beginnings, regardless of our pasts, and regardless of what others may inform us to be our paths. It is our greatest responsibility to ourselves to not relive our past, and not allow our past to interfere with our present or future.

At times I have to remind myself of this. I cannot create a new situation based on a previous experience. Yes, I have had many wonderful experiences in my life. But each new day brings a rebirth of self to experience another moment unlike yesterday. Yes, I have had some difficult moments in my past. But I cannot allow my heart to believe because it has been hurt before that it cannot learn to love again, to live again. If I put all the pain of previous relationships onto a new person, I am not allowing that person to be free to choose their path. Our expectations of what someone may do based on realizations others have caused is not only dangerous to the heart, but damaging to our souls.

In telling someone else their path, you not only limit their possibilities, but you limit yours. In assuming which direction someone else should take, you only create tension and loss for yourself. In allowing someone the freedom to be who they are, to live and make decisions on their own, you allow them the freedoms to be genuine in their actions.

Why bother mentioning all of this? What is the point? I have always been very good at accepting others at whatever stage they are in within the journey of life. I have, in fact, been too open for acceptance and it has led to an occasional heartbreak or two. I don't bother myself too greatly with where someone has been in the past only because it is the past. I would not want to be judged for my past. Sure, a person may have quirks, may eat with their mouth open, not have the greatest of fashion sense, but don't we all have quirks? Who am I to judge someone, try to make them change, or force my opinion on them to the point they lose their identity. Recently, this has been a theme within my personal life.

When someone tells you they no longer wish to be with you, how can you force them to think otherwise? They have made up their minds. Yes, it hurts at the time. But so does growth. It does not change the level of commitment you may have once felt, but it does change from a present-tense action to a past-tense thought. And as time passes, so do the feelings. Where once you thought you would cry yourself to sleep every night for the rest of your natural like (an exaggeration, I know), you realize you can smile again one day. The next you may even be able to laugh. Eventually the old wounds of someone else create a moment within the school of life, and you pick yourself up and learn to walk again.

When someone tells you on a first date they would like to only be with someone of their faith and country of origin, who am I to change their mind. I have my own laundry list of what I am looking for, or at least want to have in a person I am dating. I would rather find that information out up from than to figure it out on my own once I have feelings for someone.

I have had to respect another person's decision regarding their fears that may be different from my own. I have had forget my own needs, desires, wants, wishes, etc., and allow a process to occur naturally for them. If forced, the situation may end up in a different direction than either one of us will be pleased with. I am not turning a blind eye to my needs, but I am allowing someone to be themselves, and this is more important. If I wish to be free to explore who I am as a person, I must also allow others the freedom for their own exploration.