Jar of Hearts

"Jar of Hearts" by Christin Perri

                                                        
We have all probably met those people in our lives that touch us in such a specific way, we never forget them.  Those people that taught us something we never knew about ourselves, or the world around us.  And 9 times out of 10, this is for the better...but as we have all met those people who have caused significant change for the betterment of our lives, it is that 1 out of 10 that caused scars upon our hearts.

Through no fault of anyone, this happens every day.  As much as we try to not have it happen, damage occurs and we are left feeling dazed and confused by the entire situation.  And most the time, this occurs within a relationship that started off so wonderfully, only to end so terribly.

For those who believe it is better to close your heart, never let anyone truly in, it is a very sad occurrence when you come across someone who is not only willing to love you, but also willing to accept you as you are.  For those who feel love is a game, or that those of the opposite sex are nothing more than pawns within your chess game of life, hopefully life will treat you kindly without restitution knocking on your door when you least expect.  Having someone in your life is not always a form of co-dependency, and hurting others will only serve for temporary gain, and never long-term satisfaction.

It would be nice if we could wear signs somewhere upon our bodies to describe who we are.  "Kind but shy," "Extroverted and seeking attention," "Warning - I will break your heart in two before we ever even say our first hello."  Life would be so much easier if we didn't have to find out the hard way if someone was going to hurt us.  But, how would we ever learn?  How would we be able to decipher between the great, the good, the so-so, and the terrible?  And how would we ever be able to learn from these people in such a way that creates a change in our world for better, and learn how to mend our hearts once broken?  For those who feel they have been taken advantage of, or abandoned,or mistreated - have hope, and don't give up on yourself. Find who you are, learn more about yourself and what your needs are.  This is the only way to avoid another "mistake" in the future because you will be able to see from a long distance the person standing in front of you is genuine or just another flake.

It seems there is always going to be that nice person who is deceived by the other who doesn't really care.  There is also always going to be that nice person who happens upon another nice person, and they fit together, like puzzle pieces or matched socks.  I happen to believe in the latter.

I was once asked if I thought there was someone out there for me?  Or if I thought I was destined to be alone for the rest of my journey on this planet.  I quickly told this person I did believe there was someone out there, able to handle me on my worst days, and cherish me on my best.  Someone who would recognize I am not perfect, but still love me for my imperfections; someone who accepted me as I was, and allowed me to change by my needs and not by theirs.  My heart has been bruised, battered, torn, and abandoned enough times to learn how to appreciate when I feel I am appreciated, loved, and cared for.  And for each bruise upon my heart, I have learned to not allow myself to dwell on the pain.  There is only so much I can take before I become sick of my own self-pity and need a change of pace.  For each tear, I have learned how to sew the tear, find a way to open another path to my heart, and allow someone new into my heart without punishing them for the past mistakes made by others.  I refuse to allow my heart to become shrunken by defeat or the actions of others.  I refuse to allow my heart to lie within a jar upon someone else's trophy shelf of relationships.