That little green monster

In all of us there lurks that little green monster...the one who shows up when we least expect it, and truly rears it's ugly head.  That little green monster of jealousy, envy, or desire for something we do not have.

It is amazing that the older I get, the more I run into this in all different scenarios.  There is the person at work who makes nasty comments toward others, while in their presence.  With no rhyme or reason for this, they decide that showing this side of themselves somehow makes them appear better than others, which, of course, is completely untrue.  Truth is, they lack the self-confidence to improve upon themselves, and instead make others appear ridiculous to increase their attractiveness.

There is the former friend who would belittle me in front of others...yes, I said former friend.  She would try to make me look bad or stupid for the sake of making herself appear superior.  It would come at the least known moments...moments where I was on a date with someone new, and she would attempt to make herself look better than me all while she sat next to her boyfriend.

Another friend who complains about not being included in situations she has purposely said she does not want to participate in, making others involved feel like they now need to bend over backwards to suit her.

The fact is, that little green monster can occur with scenarios listed above, or when we feel like we are not being included to the extent we would like.  There is no right or wrong in dealing with this.  The only thing we can do is focus on how we behave.

If we feel we are not on the same level or insecure around others, instead of berating another person, we should focus on investigating why we feel insecure.  Do we feel they are smarter than us?  Do we feel they know how to do something better than us?  Do we feel others like them more than us?  Once identifying those feelings, it is time to do something about it.  If you feel someone else knows more than you do, practice...learn and explore, and keep exploring.  Don't take out all your frustrations on others...you will never win this way.

If you feel you are left out or excluded, try to become more friendly and approachable.  Try going outside your own comfort zone and participate...you may be surprised at how much easier it is to enjoy your time at something you may not find as interesting, but recognizing the company is what is important.  Stepping outside my own comfort zones, doing something that helps to overcome those feelings is what will helps me to deal with the ugly green monster.  I will never know how to do everything that everyone else knows, but I can become a master of my own interests.  I may never be as pretty, as popular, or as polite as some others, but I can work on myself, learn what I do like about myself, and work on what I do not like, increasing my abilities to accept others instead of comparing or analyzing myself next to others.  And when I feel I am being a victim of someone else's monster, I have learned to just let things go.  There is no sense in attempting to understand or sometimes approach the issue.  Letting go, letting them discover on their own is much better in the long run.