Things I have learned in 2010

When I look back at 2010, I am not sure how I will feel about the events that led to the end of this year. In looking back, I have experienced some pretty amazing moments, coupled with life lessons and suffering I wish to never have again.

In 2010 I suffered through a car accident, watched some great spring training games, started a new job, moved into a new home, suffered through a heart break when a relationship ended unexpectedly, and the feeling of discovering someone new. I took on the challenge of a new pet, and the decision to retire a vehicle. I have traveled and seen places I had never been before like San Diego, Connecticut, and New York. I have revisited old haunts of where I used to live due to my job. I have learned to laugh more, allow myself to give all I have in a relationship, and become vulnerable to the elements that this has entailed. I have learned that when you wish enough for something, you may get it. And once you have what you wished for, you may want to return it. I have learned that someone can tell you they love you, but not want to be with you. I have learned that sacrifice is not always terrible, and trying something new can change your outlook.

2010 taught me to never rely upon what feels like a permanent reality. There is no permanence in this life. I have been lucky enough to have friends and family to lean on when I have fallen (both literally and figuratively), and more importantly who have also helped me back up. And while the heartbreak of a relationship ending was difficult, it is through that experience I have developed a new prospective of how I want to be treated in a relationship (whether dating or serious), and the need to let the other person know how I feel. I have been blessed in more than one way from this heartbreak, and am grateful for the experiences. While I wish I could spend more time with the newer person I am dating, I am thankful for the calls, texts, and time we do spend together.

2010 taught me to never back down. I have learned to fight in a different manner than before. I have learned to not give up when I feel I am right about a situation, and the difference between backing down, and giving up if I need to step back. While I miss some people I worked with at my previous employer, I am definitely happier not walking into a toxic environment every day. While I miss the clients I would train on a software application, I do not miss the politics of an office that toward the end felt more like a prison sentence. I have learned that I am valuable as an employee, and my talents will be recognized.

I think the hardest thing to do is know which road or path to take when it is unfamiliar territory. It is easier to always continue down the path that is comfortable. It is easy to stay within the boundaries you apply to yourself, or someone / something else has applied for you. But it is so liberating to change your path, walk down the unknown path, realize you may make mistakes but you are okay with that. It is all in the experience. I am working on not needing to have control of certain aspects of my life. There are things beyond my control that I simply have began to raise my eyes toward heaven and say my prayers. 2010 has been filled with these moments, and that is what I am taking with me once the year is over. I will bid farewell to the past, and look fondly on today, look forward to my tomorrows.